A Series of Unfortunate Events

The absolutely frightening Scylla.
Please take a moment of silence for the six men I lost to them.

As told by Circe, I steered the ship to tightly hug the cliffs so we would avoid Char (short for Charybdis, not Charmander). Of course, all my men and I were distracted by Char for the fact that when she swirled we could see the sea-floor covered in gold. As we intently stared at the water twister, we thought of nothing but death coming our way, as most who pass by jump into the waters unconsciously. Their mind forces them into believing they have a chance of reaching the gold and surviving. I did still have some hope though, as Circe hadn't let me down yet, and I was still following her instructions. My men and I were all tied to the boat so that even if we had decided to jump, we couldn't. All were concentrating on Char when sudden screams left from six of my strongest men's mouths. Scylla had grabbed them and began to tickle them to death! They yelled for me and revealed their need for it to stop through the laughter. I was helpless. There was nothing I could do but to watch. It was torture not only for them, but for all of us witnessing the sight also. I've had nightmares about the tickle monster ever since, but I haven't let anything stop me yet, for what follows are even more deaths.

My painting of the terrible Char as we approached.

Later on, as we perched on the island of the Sun, my men disobeyed me and chose to steal/slay some of the sun-god's cattle to make some nice, juicy steaks along with big glasses of milk. The idiots must have known there would be consequence of this! The sun-god then went to Zeus, the almighty, to tell him of the crime, and of course Zeus was going to back him up. He reassured the sun-god, saying "I will strike their ship with my white-hot thunderbolt and shatter and shiver it in mid-ocean." And that he did. We were all thrown to the sea. Our beautiful cruise ship, smashed to pieces. I cursed the stupidity of my men! I was once again faced with Char, but luckily I was caught onto a hanging tree, and there I stayed for hours on end, wanting yet not wanting to be released to grab to gold. Finally I was released down into the water again once the tree limb broke, but at this point Char had given up, and the gold was no longer viewable. I grabbed on to a board as Rose did in the Titanic and floated right past Scylla. If it weren't for Zeus hiding my image from the six headed tickle monster, I would have never made it alive.

Photo Cred: Zeus
(Also, credit for saving my life after this: Zeus.)

It was a treacherous time, and it was even more difficult afterwards knowing that I was the only one of the crew to make it out alive (and gold-less). I wept for them, and for my lonesome self. I still weep. All I want is to return home. Surely my journey will be over soon. Penelope, I'm coming home for you, I promise!

I love you all.
-Odysseus