Thursday, 26 April 2012

"Th-th-th-That's All Folks!" -Porky Pig

Now that the party is over and my journey is completely complete, I will no longer be blogging. Hope you all enjoyed! I am now moving to the world of facebook, so add me :).

-The One, The Only- The Great Odysseus.

What comes before Part B? Part-A!!


"Where my party, pa-party
Party, pa-party people at?"
-Nelly

In case someone missed the invitation, here it is:

To all others of my great kingdom: There will be a huge celebration now that the king has returned. The entire castle will be turned into a party house. There will be many dance floors, a foam room, black-light rooms, catering on the veranda, and drinks in every room! Please come join us tomorrow starting at 6pm for dinner, and the party will go alllll night long!
Theme: Heroes vs. Villans. 
Bring: Your best dance moves :)
Hope to see you all there!

-Odysseus

Home Sweet Home

It was a fabulous feast!
I hadn't eaten that well for some years.
Mae, my apologies for not revealing myself to you. I couldn't be known as soon as I'd gotten here, but I do appreciate everything you did for me. It was so kind of you to let me into your mansion and give me food and shelter. Also, I still have the invisibility cloak you let me borrow- it's great for playing pranks! It's also quite warm :). And aren't you glad I was at least telling you the truth when I said I truly believed Odysseus was alive?! If you would have been keeping up with my blog you would've known I at least had a chance of survival. Although, it was like Man Vs. Wild out there! Anyway, I'm sure you've already forgiven me just because you're so excited I'm still alive!



-Odysseus

Monday, 23 April 2012

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The absolutely frightening Scylla.
Please take a moment of silence for the six men I lost to them.
As told by Circe, I steered the ship to tightly hug the cliffs so we would avoid Char (short for Charybdis, not Charmander). Of course, all my men and I were distracted by Char for the fact that when she swirled we could see the sea-floor covered in gold. As we intently stared at the water twister, we thought of nothing but death coming our way, as most who pass by jump into the waters unconsciously. Their mind forces them into believing they have a chance of reaching the gold and surviving. I did still have some hope though, as Circe hadn't let me down yet, and I was still following her instructions. My men and I were all tied to the boat so that even if we had decided to jump, we couldn't. All were concentrating on Char when sudden screams left from six of my strongest men's mouths. Scylla had grabbed them and began to tickle them to death! They yelled for me and revealed their need for it to stop through the laughter. I was helpless. There was nothing I could do but to watch. It was torture not only for them, but for all of us witnessing the sight also. I've had nightmares about the tickle monster ever since, but I haven't let anything stop me yet, for what follows are even more deaths.
My painting of the terrible Char as we approached.

Later on, as we perched on the island of the Sun, my men disobeyed me and chose to steal/slay some of the sun-god's cattle to make some nice, juicy steaks along with big glasses of milk. The idiots must have known there would be consequence of this! The sun-god then went to Zeus, the almighty, to tell him of the crime, and of course Zeus was going to back him up. He reassured the sun-god, saying "I will strike their ship with my white-hot thunderbolt and shatter and shiver it in mid-ocean." And that he did. We were all thrown to the sea. Our beautiful cruise ship, smashed to pieces. I cursed the stupidity of my men! I was once again faced with Char, but luckily I was caught onto a hanging tree, and there I stayed for hours on end, wanting yet not wanting to be released to grab to gold. Finally I was released down into the water again once the tree limb broke, but at this point Char had given up, and the gold was no longer viewable. I grabbed on to a board as Rose did in the Titanic and floated right past Scylla. If it weren't for Zeus hiding my image from the six headed tickle monster, I would have never made it alive.
Photo Cred: Zeus
(Also, credit for saving my life after this: Zeus.)

It was a treacherous time, and it was even more difficult afterwards knowing that I was the only one of the crew to make it out alive (and gold-less). I wept for them, and for my lonesome self. I still weep. All I want is to return home. Surely my journey will be over soon. Penelope, I'm coming home for you, I promise!

I love you all.
-Odysseus



Music to my Ears

Lady Circe told me that I alone of my crew was to hear the songs of the Sirens, so as we approached the island of the Sirens, I forced everyone else to put in heavy duty ear plugs. I was then locked in a room and tied to a chair tightly with rope, and I informed my men that they MUST wrap more ropes around me and tighten them further if I dare ask them to let me free. Of course, once the Sirens spotted our ship they began to raise their voices. They told me, "Pause with your ship; listen to our song. Never has any man passed this way in his dark vessel and left unheard the honey-sweet music from our lips." They sang and I begged to be released, but my faithful crew secured more rope around me and kept the vessel moving swiftly. Immediately after passing the island and out of range of their voices I was untied and let out. It was definitely an experience nonetheless, and I would not have made it without my comrades. I thank them greatly for their obedience in the matter.

Peace out!
-Odysseus

Modern Technology Rocks!

Skype date with my wonderful wife and superb son!
So glad to see their beautiful faces :)!

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Anxiety from Lady Circe

I am burnt out, but I must continue on my journey. There have been so many weird encounters and not enough lounging time by the pool. I need more beers than I've been allowing myself. I'm at the end of my rope! And I have just been warned by Circe of future endangerments--great. Luckily she has told me how to handle these confrontations, so everything should be fine (I think). I am unsure of how long things will last, but I'll be sure to update y'all whenever I get the chance.
Yours truly,
Odysseus